I am getting ready to leave for a film shoot, but as you all know, it’s like moving mountains to prepare to leave the kids for a day, let alone weeks! Even as I write this blog I feel torn between the errands I need to run, the time I want to spend with my kids, and memorizing all of my lines ON TOP of the mental stress of details that I need to relay to caregivers etc. Needless to say, I wish I had a few extra hours in the day, and more sleep…and I wish I felt more prepared to leave…But again, God’s timing is rarely our timing ☺ I have to keep reminding myself that I am not defined by what I do. It is who I am that God wants. I am, we all are, a child of God. [It reminds me of the song, No Longer Slaves. This is a song worth having in your playlist!.
I think the struggle we have is so common in today’s day–with trying to find that happy place where we feel like I have it all together. For me, I am weekly (let’s be honest…hourly) trying to find the balance in my life and not run around feeling stressed and depleted. I struggle to embrace the journey.
I was reminded recently that we often get so fixated on the end goal that we ignore the process. It’s in the transitions that we all face: new year, new job, new project, new relationships etc, that we are most vulnerable. We often times find ourselves uncomfortable and lose sight of our way. We forget who we are in Jesus. He has designed us each to be an individual; unique in every way. He has given us each different gifts, which we need to embrace and use to our fullest potential.
I was talking with my friend today about the path of least resistance. Sometimes we need to stop trying to swim upstream and just let God’s current carry us. She had a really rough year in 2017 with her divorce and moving and job changes and even new relationships. I watched her flail—like a fish ripped from the sea and thrown on the ground, flapping is tail, struggling for gulps of water, only to take in air. When she was finally thrown back in the water, she decided to release all of her control over to God. It has been incredible to watch her transform from so much pain into so much peace. I’m not saying her life is now perfect, but it is amazing to see God transforming her life now that she has given it over to Him. She lost sight of who she is in Jesus for a while.
I think we get so side-tracked we forget our way. Pastor Kevin Queen of crosspoint.tv church in Nashville said “When you lose your why, you lose your way.” Isn’t that the truth?! When our eyes wander from Jesus and we stop listening to the Holy Spirit, we stumble. We forget that we all have a unique purpose and plan.
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11
So I turn back to my empty suitcase, overwhelmed trying to think about all I need to pack up and memorize and get situated before I leave…And I feel a wave of peace wash over me. I am still. I am listening Lord. I am embracing who I am in You and what my purpose is. I close my eyes and pray what MLK prayed so many years ago:
“Use me, God. Show me how to take who I am, who I want to be, and what I can do, and use it for a purpose greater than myself.”
I can’t even tell you how many times I feel like I’ve been put in situations where I was scared, overwhelmed, physically ill, insecure, worried, afraid, inadequate etc. and I said OK God this is on you and I’m here to be used by you. Help me Lord.
If we can keep our head and our hearts there, we can be used for His greater glory. Don’t forget; we are all His. Unique and beautiful. We are each a child of God.